Though my friends seemed to understand my passion for martial arts, they seldom seemed to understand why I would continually choose it over other things. I had similar experiences in college when I got into physical training while at college. While my friends there would be watching a movie at night, I would be in the gym working out. Most of the times they would go out to the bars, I would drink only one drink or would just have water. I would sometimes watch movies with them and even go out drinking with the guys when I was of age , but in my goals in physical training necessitated me giving up many of those opportunities of hanging out with them.
I do not take any joy out of missing social occasions with close friends, but I take a lot of joy from sticking to my path and achieving steps towards my goals. A dedicated person is aware that he or she is on a path towards greatness, and that is why he or she works so hard. The dedicated person may not have reached a noticeable point along that path yet, but he or she is traveling it all the same. A perfect example of a dedicated person who came along a lengthy path of hard work and dedication is Arnold Palmer.
Palmer is a golf star from the fifties and sixties who is famous both for his amazing golf ability as well as being one of the first major golf stars to become popular on television when the sport first became televised in the fifties.
Though not a martial artist himself, any martial artist can learn about dedication from his story. There is a famous story about Palmer that I will paraphrase as it demonstrates the path of a dedicated person:. They achieved great things only after agonizing dedication to their endeavors. He could not have done so were it not for his dedication.
Most people pay attention only to the moments of glory and not to the hours, days, months, and years of hard work and dedication it took to reach those moments.
Many people mistake a dedicated person for an obsessed person because most people do not understand the path a dedicated person is on. A dedicated person has chosen to do what most people will not — a dedicated person has chosen to forgo the comforts of a normal life so that he or she may pursue his or her dreams and work towards achieving great things therein. If you are not willing to dedicate yourself to your dreams, then at least be understanding of those who are, for if it were not for dedicated persons, all of the greatest innovations in technology, art, philosophy, and culture would never have come about in the first place.
Achievement requires dedication and sacrifice; live in that understanding and cherish the path. I love your focus and your drive. I think it is the most refreshing thing that you know what you want and you have faith in your instructor and your instructor has faith in you. I am so glad you are being pushed outside your comfort levels to achieve your best. The opposite of love it not hate it is to be ignored so be give this much attention to the education of your mind and very possibly your spirit you are truely blessed.
Not many people would care or have the patience to push you! Obsession is also shrouded with jealousy. On the other hand, love is always pure, and it is the understanding between individuals. Persons who are in love, trust each other blindly. On the contrary, an obsessive person will always want to know every detail about the other person.
This only means that an obsessive relationship lacks trust. Obsession is only a crazy idea where a person cannot think in an affectionate manner. Love has no limits or boundaries, and there is complete freedom. Love is always pure, and it is the understanding between individuals. Difference Between Love and Obsession. Difference Between Similar Terms and Objects. MLA 8 S, Prabhat.
Everyone In a relationship wants the other person to be his or her Only plus everyone is dgona get really upset and not let Go of someone they love and try their best to make things Work out. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. The information provided in this article is true and accurate, to a fault. I am married to a loving man who, unfortunately, has gone through this situation. Trial and error have made us stronger. Through reading this article together, we have the understanding and the knowledge of the difference between love and obsession.
You are derailing psychologically bro. I want to use this question to answer you. Can you buy an iphone 13 as an average income earner and throw it to the gutters to pick up a non GPRS enabled phone? If you see yourself as valuable as an iphone compared to a non Gprs enabled phone, then that lady does not know your value and does not deserve you. Kill the feelings,i mean allow your feelings to die,the feeling is not sustainable.
She does not know your value,someone more beautiful and wise will see your worth and treat you like a king. I agree with the previous person- Angela. But then in the other hand, the examples they gived for obsession sounds soo true!! This one is for Etan. I know you want her back but let it go.
If she is in another relationship, she is telling you she has moved on with her life living it up and you need to do the same. Life is to short to run behind someone that has moved on with theirs. Think about what went wrong with the relationship and be watchful in the next. The next time you fall head over heels in love with someone you will be ready.
Love is kind, gentle, and humbling. I have been in a distance relationship for almost 2 years. First she was very much into me, we had many times some arguments on each other doings on common ground. Due to the distance KM we hardly could understand each other prospective and faught over it.
I considered it as Distance and thought it will be okay when we wil be together. She showed too much love to me in beginning of relationship , so much respect and trust but slowly slowly it went.. I showed my anger on her that she should be concern about calls. We had a fight on this. I tried to reach her to explain that I was just concern for your safety and since I got head enjury on that day, I was not in stable condition as my head was spinning on each bad thought.
Anyways she didnt realize it and thought I was making a story. I recently visited some old friends from college in NYC and the restaurant we went to for dinner was lacking in vegan options. I felt great after that meal because it was a wonderful chance to re-connect with some of my best friends in a beautiful, lantern-lit setting.
It was about life and enjoyment and pleasure. All things I get from food, but from many many other things as well. I love this story, Ariela. I really can only imagine how challenging it is to be so far from your home and routines, Melissa.
Kudos to you. Thank you so much for sharing this post, Gena. Thank you! So, bravo, and keep working in that direction!
Heather, this totally rings true with me! It leads to me eating while incredibly tense which usually then leads to stomach pains and, as you say, lack of satisfaction. Thank you so much for sharing x. Gena, thank you for exploring this topic. For me your reflection could not have come at a better time. I recently started seeing a ED specilaist for my binge eating issues that have been tormenting me for 9 years.
Though it took me a long, long time to admit I had a problem. I was stunned upon hearing this. Yes, my diet is filled with almond butter, fruit, flax seeds, vegetables and quinoa. My dietician and therapist seem to overvalue dairy , carbs and protein and make little to no mention of the importance of vegetables.
Did you find this during recovery? I have a hard time with this mindset as vegetables make me FEEL good — not just thin — but energized and calm and balanced. It brought to the forefront struggles that I am still having which I am not even always aware of.
Sometimes you need others to weigh in and remind you of aspects of recovery which still need work- aka, rushed meals ahhh , eating on-the-go again- very scary , and eating sub-par food. I always knew in the back of my mind that these behaviours would trigger lots of anxiety, however, because of this post, I am now more acutely aware of them.
Thanks for always pushing me on in recovery, providing me with different aspects to look at. This almost had me in tears as I read it. I cannot even begin to express how helpful it is for me to read about your experiences because they always seems to describe mine exactly and they give me a chance to look at my own in a new light.
I too have had serious digestive issues that have left me searching more for a feeling rather than a look. It puts me into food as fuel mode and my obsessiveness takes over. And then I start thinking that I could get more nutrients out of my carrots of I ate them with some almonds or if I cook them for precisely 2 minuets… It becomes a scientific pursuit of health, one that will ultimately fail.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. This helps me beyond what I can possibly put into words. And even those areas would hurt me, too — such as obsessively studying for an exam until the wee hours of the night when I should just go to bed and stop pounding facts into my brain. Not every meal has to be a long ritual because if we narrow in on that all of the time, we miss everything else around us. The things we are reading in the forefront take up most of our mental space and the other things in the background fade away.
If food is always in the forefront, especially for a recovering anorectic, we miss the other experiences in life that also symbolize recovery and being in the present moment. Back when I used to take pictures of my food all. Not to say that I am not grateful for these snacks because I am, but the time spent thinking about them could be spent on other areas of our lives that can provide us with a richness that food sometimes cannot.
Not for the first time, you took the words right out of my brain. You said everything I could and wanted to say. I especially agree with you on that point you made that what throws you off-kilter the most are the on-the-go, rushed, unappealing, eaten-during-a-stressful-day meals. I could not agree more from my own experience! I can completely relate in the realm of dedication vs.
I do agree with you that the perfectionism and drive can be a good thing. It has helped me to overcome so many hurdles, yet it has also been a hurdle in and of itself. But at the same time, there are indeed some days where I wonder what separates that from obsession.
It is those moments that bring me back to the worry of dedication vs. And it is those moments that I hope lead me toward a greater self-realization and peace with myself. Thank YOU for sharing, Lexi! And now for serious, I want us to plan a date in the early fall to share some food and share more of our stories with each other!
I really enjoyed this post and could relate on many levels. Rushed meals make me feel anxious, too. I have finally learned to trust and respect my body. Going vegan has given me a new appreciation for how good REAL food can be, both taste-wise and health-wise. Thank you for writing this, Gena. Many years ago I too was obsessive in my thoughts — about my weight and about my relationships.
It was exhausting. What cured me of obsessive thinking was good old fashioned anti-depressants. Thank you Gena for putting it all into words so beautifully. Wow this post resonated with me so much! I actually found your blog not long after becoming vegan, when I was in search of support for a diet that it seemed many people around me rejected.
So thank you very much for that! I can happily say now that I too have found a way of eating that is neither obsessive nor restrictive but simply makes me happy. Your blog has helped me tremendously in that respect!
But I was always more interiorly driven than exteriorly motivated, if that makes sense? I do make the a similar distinction between someone who is anorexic and someone who is merely dieting. Sure, I no longer have a propensity to compulsively touch or clean something, but I think my obsessiveness was simply funneled into a new pursuit: beauty.
I, like you, have never really considered thinness as my ultimate goal; I am much more concerned about being the most beautiful, the most flawless. Loved this post! I personally think that any type of obsession is unhealthy. It practically controls your life instead of you having control. I do however think its healthy to be very passionate about something. With my ED, it started with a passion to get healthy.
This is very contradicting as having Anorexia is a very unhealthy and deadly illness. Im still in recovery and I have been trying to focus on health as my passion.
Any health enthusiast knows that being underweight is not healthy , so even though I dont want to reach a certain weight I try to bring my thoughts back to being healthy.
Wow, Gena. Once again, you astound me with your insight. I can relate intensely to almost every single point you outlined here, and have recently found a place in my life where I am truly comfortable with my food choices. I have always been a tremendously passionate person; my childhood friend used to say that I never just liked something—I had to either love or hate it. I would never fathom forgoing this aspect of my personality, for I would attribute my academic and extracurricular successes to it.
Thanks for the mention. But this part you wrote shortened for space, but the whole paragraph really hit home:. I will be traveling this weekend for work and am always stressed about the food situation for obvious reasons. It becomes more of a survival mission—the food, the exercise, the change in routine—instead of an opportunity to experience new things and loosen the chokehold a bit. Hearing that I give you hope makes me so happy. You can bet a lot of people are becoming hopeful along with you, now and always.
This is the post I was waiting to read, Gena, after your last NYC recap- when you mentioned areas in which you still strive to improve upon in terms of your own recovery.
I am grateful to have people in my life and on the internet! So thank you for, as always, so eloquently verbalizing the very things I am experiencing in my life as I continue to embark on my recovery process.
Oh I love your mentality about things. And the great wording for hard to define bits is very satisfying. Thanks for being awesome and sharing this!
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